Facebook: Use with Care

   

I am a Facebook user myself. It is a great way to keep abreast of what’s happening with my friends and family  all over the globe. We are all very careful about what we post.

There are others, however, that use face book as a tell all, kind of therapist of sorts. Most of us are familiar with the saying: Everyone has a story. The reality is that not everyone has a voice, or a forum in which their story can be heard. Hence, the inappropriate comments on Face Book. It provides a space for everyone to be heard, but some things are better left unsaid.

 I do not believe that Facebook is a forum in which you should divulge your very private thoughts, pains, trials, and agonies. For that I would suggest that one purchase a diary. I would also suggest that you work on relationships with those around you, so that you will be heard and understood by those who love you.

 On a daily basis, there are news stories about  people getting fired, kicked out of school, and sued because of things posted on Facebook.  I also have heard of young people being bullied on Facebook. Surely, this is not what Facebook creators had in mind.

I believe that there is the perception that when we sit in private and post comments, they are going to remain private. In reality, they are seen  in every corner of the world, and they never go away. Your name is forever linked with those inappropriate comments.

They will be forever seen by potential employers, college admissions advisors, and other  people of importance who are deciding about your future. Even if Facebook is extinct  gone forever, Google will still have those comments cached, and linked to your name. Facebook is a great tool for networking, and keeping in touch with friends, and perhaps promoting a good cause.

It is important to remember that once you have posted your comments, they are out there forever, even if you delete them.  Take a breath before you post. Also, consider that privacy settings on Facebook only apply to Facebook. If your name is typed into a search engine, it will pull up your comments.

Facebook is a great tool, but use with care, discretion, and common sense.

The Casey Anthony Trial: Two Slimes Don't Make a Right

I am sure that Casey Anthony is one of the most reviled mothers of all time. After all she was accused of killing her beautiful baby girl, or at the very least  committing some gross act of negligence that resulted in death for Caylee.

Casey Anthony was tried and found not guilty of all crimes relating to the death of Caylee Anthony, and she walked out of jail scott free. Or so we all thought. And that is the part that concerns me.
Miss Anthony had been placed on probation for another crime while in jail awaiting trial on charges related to the death of her child.

In their anger and shame at having lost the murder trial, the State contended that probation was not served while in jail. Therefore Miss Anthony would have to return to Florida to serve out the probation. Judge  Belvin Perry, under tremendous pressure, caved in and sided with the State. Now we all sit with bated breath, hoping Miss Anthony will violate her probation.

As the relative of several people who have been incarcerated, I can tell you that Miss Anthony served her probation while in jail. No question about it.

Don't get me wrong, I am not shedding any tears for Miss Anthony, but I am thinking about the rest of us.

Does this give the State the right to play this slimey kind of trickery after they have lost a case?  That's scary.  What happens if this becomes a common place move? It's an end run around the Justice System

 If the State of Florida condones this action, what other shady moves should we be concerned about? Two slimes don't make a right.

 

Christians and Mourning 

 Webster's defines the word mourn as: to feel  or express sorrow or grief. Mourning is a natural part of the grieving process. As Christians, I do not believe that we deal with grief in a realistic way. I believe that we are getting better at it, but we still have work to do in that area. Feelings of pain, loss, and grief, cannot be wrapped in a scripture, or a bible verse, and put away in a corner.

Healing takes time. The most helpful thing we can do for people at this time is to let them express their painful feelings, and be supportive.  Allow the person to tell their story. Grieving persons have a need to tell their stories, and to talk about the person they have lost.

Prolonged, or complicated grief occurs when we do not acknowledge the pain, and the truth of what has happened. We must allow those who are grieving to have their feelings, whatever they are. They must be allowed to sit with the fact that this loss has occured, and that indeed, it hurts. Our faith and the scriptures provide  sources of comfort and support. The fact that Christians believe that the deceased is at peace with God is  also a source of comfort, but the pain is still present, and has to be dealt with in the here and now. It is important to realize that Jesus preached a holistic Gospel. All parts of the self must be nurtured and cared for.

Many believe that Christians should not mourn the dead, however from a common sense point of view, it is impossible not to. How does one not mourn the loss of a vital part of themselves?

 Grief and mourning are about the feelings and emotions of the living. The living need to be nurtured, and cared for by the ministers, and congregational care persons in their faith community.

The faith community must accept the fact that death affects us all, and that it hurts. The reality is that we all mourn. We all grieve, and it is painful. We must also accept the fact that there is no getting over it. We do not get over the loss, we simply come to a place where we can co-exist with it.

I think of the conclusion of the book of Job, chapter 42, verse 16, where it enumerates the blessings Job received after having lost everything. It talks about his sons, and his beautiful daughters. However, what is not mentioned is the fact that he must be mourning the loss of his previous children.

Speaking as a parent who has lost a child, and as a Christian, I can tell you that this is not an accurate picture. When this is preached in churches, I hear lots of amens, and hallelujahs, but there is never any acknowledgement of the pain Job must have felt, as the grieving parent of ten deceased children.

I suspect that Job rather liked his children, and to lose them all in such a violent and unexpected manner must have been painful and traumatic. Even though he had other children, the pain and grief of losing  his original children must still  have been present.

Also, we see in Matthew 26:37, that Jesus grieved his impending death. This type of grief is called anticipatory grief.

He turned to the men in his company and said,  “ I am exceedingly sorrowful”.  Notice that no one asked Jesus what he was feeling, but it seems that He had an inner compulsion to voice this grief. He then walked a few more steps, and fell onto His face and began praying. If you look closely at the prayer, what Jesus was actually doing was bargaining, which is another stage of the grieving process. He is saying, God, I don’t want to die, take this cup from me, but then again if it is your will.

Using Jesus as a model, I do believe that Christians should mourn their losses. It is a part of the healing process. If we deny the pain, and the loss, it festers and becomes complicated grief.

As Christians we hold the belief that God is with us through everything we face in life. That being the case, we must trust that God will guide us through that dark period of grief, and bring us to a place where we can function again. There is no getting around it. There is no getting over it. God must take us through it.

copyright 2011 L.S.B.

The Reaper

Ecclesiastes 3 :1-2   

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 A time to be born and a time to die;

He came sweeping in

Silent and graceful

Dark and slightly ominous

He sighed a heavy sigh and dug in his heels.

He sensed it was going to be a long fight.

Such a thankless job was his.

He was hardly ever welcomed anywhere he went.

No fanfare. No red carpets.

He didn’t understand why he was always perceived as the enemy.

Maybe it was the black uniform. Maybe it was the sharp scythe.

He rather fancied himself a kind friend, a welcome relief, even a loving presence.

 Why sometimes he could be downright warm and fuzzy. 

 He could be whimsical too: a melody, a sweet song during a sleepless night,

 a playful wind dancer twirling in the breeze.

Why did people oppose him so? Why did they fight so valiantly a battle already lost?

Why did they not just let go and trust the process for a soft landing?

He sighed and dug in his heels. Yep. It was going to be a long one.

copyright 2011 L.S.B.

Macaroni and Cheese

As a child, I never much liked macaroni and cheese. In my family, even in my culture, that was almost a sin.

When I became an adult, I realized that it was not the dish itself, but it was the sharp Cheddar cheese that I hated. However, there was no other way to make it, or so I thought.  I found ways to make it using other cheeses that I liked, Mozzarella, Colby, mild Cheddar, and so on. I am proud to say that my macaroni and cheese is just heavenly, although, little old ladies must be shaking their heads in disbelief. How does one make macaroni and cheese without sharp Cheddar cheese? There is just no way it can be good.

As I discovered with macaroni and cheese, there are many different ways of doing things in life. There are different cultures, and different beliefs. We as human beings have to be at peace with the differences of others. God has created us to be unique and special individuals. I am reminded of the scripture that says, in my father’s house there are many mansions there. Why not just one mansion for all?  It sounds as if God is accommodating and respecting our differences even in heaven, as we must on earth.

copyright 2011 L. S. B.